lost and never found....

It happenend yet again! A quick peek into my orkut profile is the most that I can manage between classes, and today yet again it said, acccess denied. My password had once again been hacked. My son is the one I turn to for tech help, but this time even he was helpless, google had disabled my account for what ever reasons...it was like a death of sorts, ever since I lost my only bro during the mumbai floods in 2005, I tend to associate most losses with death, need to really work on this, kind of getting obsessed with death...not good...All attempts to open the account failed. It was tragic seeing my smiling profile pic through Pablo's account and thats about it, couldnot open the profile atall...The immediate action was to open another account and send friend requests to all my friends to become my friend all over again which they all did most willingly. I even went to the extent of requesting them to send me the testimonials they had written to me earlier, which came back too. One person I lost on my friend list and that is Pratim, a friend I had made on Orkut and lost most abruptly with his sudden death...another reason to intensify my obsession with death. I have spent many vacant moments going over the scraps I exchanged with him , reading and re-reading his profile, his blogspot...I did send him a friend request too knowing fully well he is not around to accept it. Pratim is a major loss on my friend list, I miss him...I miss reading random scraps that tell me how new friendships evolved and matured...how it culminated into good friendship that I will hope lasts and lasts and lasts...I read through the tetimonials sent again...some sound incongruous, out of context, lost in a time frame that belonged to the past...its sad but true, we cant turn the clock again, much as we may want to...