Sunday, August 2, 2009

Ma

Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man" came alive with my interactions with ma during the last 2 months of her life. By then she was an invalid, paralysed on the right side, but with a full zest for life. She found if difficult to swallow and so had to be on a liquid diet, but dreamt all the time of eating Pullav and maacher kalia, and having rajbhog to finish of her meal!She loved to be pampred and the more I pampered her, the more she would make a demand for it.As long as she was able to communicate, she would have a non verbal communication with me. She would admire my junk jewelry or my new dress, on days she was in less pain. She knew the time of my arrival even without being able to look at the watch. Michael Jackson passed away when ma lay paralysed, the news saddened her greatly. Her speech then was badly affected by her right brain being dysfunctional, but all her difficulties she would try to tell all who visited her, her shock and disbelief at the death of MJ. I smiled through my tears at her predicament, I thought soon ma would be keeping with the company of the likes of MJ in a world unknown to us. The doc's had given up on her life, what they were unaware of was her zest for life. She lived life to the fullest. She would make faces like a baby, she would be moody at times and ilogical and I would cajole her to listen to me. She became my precious toy. all my free time was spent with her, feeding her, changing her nappy and dressing her bed sores. The last four days before her final call, ma fell very silent, she barely woke up from what appeared like a deep sleep. she would respond only to my call, it gave me great thrill to holler "mommy" and see a slight movementin her frail body. On the last evening that I spent with her she shuddered inwardly when I called her. Little did I realise it was her non verbal gesture of a good bye. I kissed her eyes and her chin as I left her fast asleep. Early next morning she passed away, a few minutes befor I could reach her place.
The rest would be a normal story of sorrow at the loss of a parent around whom my world revolved. But thats not what I want to say, I want to tell all who read this blog that I am happy to have had the opportunity to serve ma to the best of my ability, in some small way mabe even returned a bit to the ocen of her contribution to my life. I stand tall and proud today for how she moulded me, in many ways realised her dreams through me. I owe her my very existence. My joy lies in the fact that I could be with her in her most trying and lonely moments and bring a lot of cheer to her life. I thank the almighty for having given me this rare opportunity that will give me momories to fill an entire life time and more!