Sunday, August 2, 2009


Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man" came alive with my interactions with ma during the last 2 months of her life. By then she was an invalid, paralysed on the right side, but with a full zest for life. She found if difficult to swallow and so had to be on a liquid diet, but dreamt all the time of eating Pullav and maacher kalia, and having rajbhog to finish of her meal!She loved to be pampred and the more I pampered her, the more she would make a demand for it.As long as she was able to communicate, she would have a non verbal communication with me. She would admire my junk jewelry or my new dress, on days she was in less pain. She knew the time of my arrival even without being able to look at the watch. Michael Jackson passed away when ma lay paralysed, the news saddened her greatly. Her speech then was badly affected by her right brain being dysfunctional, but all her difficulties she would try to tell all who visited her, her shock and disbelief at the death of MJ. I smiled through my tears at her predicament, I thought soon ma would be keeping with the company of the likes of MJ in a world unknown to us. The doc's had given up on her life, what they were unaware of was her zest for life. She lived life to the fullest. She would make faces like a baby, she would be moody at times and ilogical and I would cajole her to listen to me. She became my precious toy. all my free time was spent with her, feeding her, changing her nappy and dressing her bed sores. The last four days before her final call, ma fell very silent, she barely woke up from what appeared like a deep sleep. she would respond only to my call, it gave me great thrill to holler "mommy" and see a slight movementin her frail body. On the last evening that I spent with her she shuddered inwardly when I called her. Little did I realise it was her non verbal gesture of a good bye. I kissed her eyes and her chin as I left her fast asleep. Early next morning she passed away, a few minutes befor I could reach her place.
The rest would be a normal story of sorrow at the loss of a parent around whom my world revolved. But thats not what I want to say, I want to tell all who read this blog that I am happy to have had the opportunity to serve ma to the best of my ability, in some small way mabe even returned a bit to the ocen of her contribution to my life. I stand tall and proud today for how she moulded me, in many ways realised her dreams through me. I owe her my very existence. My joy lies in the fact that I could be with her in her most trying and lonely moments and bring a lot of cheer to her life. I thank the almighty for having given me this rare opportunity that will give me momories to fill an entire life time and more!


Gaurav Dorje Lama said...

Loss is always painful and in the case of loved ones, it is devastating. It takes lots of courage to face the fact that the person we love the most is no more. However, this courage comes from the very love that we have for this person. We cannot be selfish and want to keep the person forever as if it were our toy.
Time is both the greatest advocate and judge. It fights for us, against us and rules out its judgments alike.
For the loved ones we have lost, all I can think of is that they are relieved from any mortal pains, any sort of human suffering. They are free!
The one freedom that every living being aspires for. I am happy that my loved ones have attained this ultimate achievement.
I think its time for you to think the same way ma'am. Be happy for them like I am. Just a suggestion though.
May God rest her soul in peace.

Kalpita R Sharma said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kalpita R Sharma said...

In Gurudev's words..

"I cannot remember my mother
but when in the early autumn morning
the smell of the shiuli flowers floats in the air,
the scent of the morning service in the
temple comes to me as the scent of my mother."

Mother resides within our very eternal part of our existence.Our parents have always been ready to give up all their pleasure and happiness for a smile on their child's face.In the rush of life, not many of us are blessed enough to be able to realise or fulfill our duties towards them when they gradually grow more child-like and we are the so-called grown-ups,many do not get the chance coz they view the circumstances to be more powerful against their will to care for their loved ones.YOU have been the BLESSED one,Ma'am.

The love and bonding you shared with Ma(and still share) shall forever give you strength and inspire you every moment.She shall be there by your side whenever you will look for her. Coz she would be right there, within you.
Ma moulded you so strong and brave. She shall live in this world through you.

May her soul rest in peace.

Love and prayers.

Vrushali Deshpande said...

Wherever she is, I am sure she is in peace.

Hep Joan said...

I always say this to you. Your Mum had you during her most difficult time. Be happy for that.

spicymist said...

You were there with her in her last days. You are so lucky. an di bet she felt lucky too. I lost my grandmom recently too.I couldnt see her the last time they admitted her to the hospital. When i VIsitedher the next day, she was in a coma and she never woke up from it. But aside from that i have no regrets. She was suffering a lot and i hope shes at peace now.

rashi said...

hats offf to u ma'am!!